Not What I’d Planned
We’re a third of the way through January and I’m still not quite on my game. Truth be told I haven’t written a word in weeks. So much for all the pre-planning I had done with projects, goals, and writing prior to the holidays. I’d normally be the first to say, ‘no excuses’ when it comes to not getting the job done, but this season is different. It’s a new year and a new normal.
Don’t misunderstand, the pages of my calendar would suggest I had things mapped out pretty well, but as life would have it, plans and good intentions get interrupted by reality.
Dealing with Loss
Instead of kicking the year off with a new blog series, planning family get togethers and getting back to a hobby or two, I’m dealing with the loss of my precious mom over the holidays and all the responsibilities that come with losing a parent. My sister and I are navigating these unchartered waters the best we can and working through the emotions of what will, in time, be our new normal.
My sweet mom was 86 so I knew this day would come. But the future has become the present. Selfishly I want her here with me, but I am comforted knowing she is with Jesus and healed. For that I am eternally thankful.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
Finding a New Normal
So instead of starting off the new year like I’d intended, I’ll be working through some extra baggage; namely the stages of grief. I know it will take time and there’s no calendar to suggest what will be a good day or a not-so-good day. It will be whatever it is. In the meantime, I’ll work on finding a balance between what I want to get done and what I need to get done. Moving forward with the plans and goals I’d written down might take longer or look differently. Either way, my mom would be proud. So much of who I am is because of her. My strength, self-confidence, courage, resilience and love for others are gifts from her. And with God in control I’ll work through my new normal.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Moving Forward
I may be behind the curve a bit as I take on 2019, but there’s a whole lot of year in front of me and I know I must move forward. This wasn’t the fresh start I was planning, but it’s the one I’ve been given and I’m going to be courageous and press on.
Here are suggestions for dealing with a new normal:
- Admit what you’re feeling. Loss is difficult and you must give yourself time to work through the grief. It will be ongoing.
- Remember the good times–memories help you heal.
- Refocus. Take a step back to reorganize your thoughts and what’s ahead of you. Be thoughtful about your next steps but don’t be afraid to forge ahead.
- Claim your new normal. Take joy in the people you’ve loved. Treasure your time together and thank God for the blessings.
What are you dealing with in this new year?
Thank you for your transparency about coming to terms with a new year and a new normal. We really don’t know what that looks like until a serious life change occurs, do we? It sounds like you are sitting in the moment with your adjustment period, rather than trying to “power through” and gloss over it. Prayers for you and your family as you remember the good times and learn to make a new normal for the future.
Laura, thank you for your sweet note. We don’t like uncertainty or the unknown, but it is life. I’m thankful I had my mom for so long and the legacy she leaves will live on through us. I’m taking it one day at a time and praising God for His presence in both the good and the not-so-good days. Blessings to you.
May the God of peace guard your heart and your thoughts; may you experience His unending peace all through your life. May He fill you with new ideas so that you can reach out to many with words of comfort.
Sarah, thank you so much for your kind words. I am thankful for God’s unending peace and His presence each and every day. I was blessed to have my mom for a long time and I know she rejoices with Jesus. Blessings to you my friend.
I love these steps. New normal for me is never easy but I am slowly learning to navigate it. You are right. The first step is accepting that there will be good days and bad days. We have to accept both for what they are. May God bless you as you work through your new season.
Brittany, thank you so much for your kind words. A new normal isn’t easy, but I’m taking it one day at a time, praising God for both the good and the not-so-good days. I’m relishing the memories and thankful I had my mom for so many years. Blessings to you too.